Day of Debauchery, or Executive Cheeks goes to the Thunderdome

This is the entry that everyone is waiting for. And by "everyone," I especially mean those who don't know me particularly well. On the surface, I look like a kindergarten teacher (even though that idea scares the bejeezus out of me; I love little kids a few at a time, but 30 kids who can't snap their own pants, or make it to the bathroom on time? I shudder at the thought!!!), and professionally I can be pretty intense and focused. I am also shy (despite the fact that I talk A LOT when I'm really comfortable with someone), which can make it hard for some to really get to know me. But I'm really like a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Tame on the surface, but with lots of layers hidden underneath that vanilla surface. Some layers are squishy, there's a little crunchy texture to keep things interesting, and there's that rich, fudge layer that is at the core--deeply hidden, but worth digging through the other layers to reach because the heart of the cake is the best part. Put all the layers together and you get a buzzy mix of flavors that create an interesting whole. (At least I'm original, right?)

So, Saturday . . .

This day can be broken into 4 main categories:

1) Brunch with bubbles

2) Dancing in the street

3) Eiffel Tower

4) Thunderdome

Actually, "Day of Debauchery" started out innocently enough. Amber, Amy, and I went for a nice little 2 mile run first thing in the morning. However, we were soon off to brunch. Brunch can be dangerous, especially when it's a buffet. Unlimited food that's mass-prepared? That's a bit scary. However, when your buffet brunch is the Bellagio, well . . . that's another matter entirely!

So we had brunch. Yummy, yummy brunch! The food was delicious! I especially enjoyed the polenta, which had a wonderfully creamy consistency and an indescribably rich, savory flavor. The Bellagio also had brilliantly realized that pesto mashed potatoes were something to be relished. I don't know why I'd never thought of this combination before! Pesto? It's delicious! Mashed potatoes? Love them! It's like tasty food and comfort met and had an alarmingly scrumptious baby!

Did I mention that this was a champagne brunch?

The lovely thing about champagne is that it's bubbly. The bubbles go down easy, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how full your glass is) they go to your head very quickly. We did mix ours with orange juice (mmmm--mimosa!). And what hitteth the head quickly leaveth quickly too. The buzz wore off shortly after brunch. (I did break a glass somewhere in there, too, but it really didn't have anything to do the rampant champagne consumption. I blame it on my natural clumsiness. And seriously, I think my sober brunch buddies could attest that I merely tapped an empty glass. Tapped. And that sucker went right over and *crash!*)

Post-brunch, we wandered through the Bellagio casino and the garden at the Bellagio (which has some seriously twisty trees straight out of a Tim Burton film, a lovely orchid green house, and what the lady standing behind me aptly described as some "big ass pumpkins"). By the time we hit the street, my head was mostly clear again.

The fact that Amy and I were dancing down the sidewalk had nothing to do with the mimosas consumed during brunch. It was an Amy and Gillian moment, music was blaring from every establishment we passed. (Anyone who knows Amy knows this isn't out of character; in fact, it would have been more of an oddity if she hadn't been dancing! When we get together, Amy and I feed off each other, and fun ensues!) Of course, we did dance through a section of street "salespeople." If you've been to Vegas, you know the type. They have pocket-sized glossy pictorials advertising "girls, girls, girls." (I don't want to know any more about those handouts. Really.) As we heard the clicking sound of the glossy handouts, Amy and I sped up our dancing to trek past the girl-pushers. But apparently we caught their attention anyway because we got the cat-calls, and one of the pushers declared that I had "executive cheeks." (That's a new one! I guess I finally decided to own my hips. In the words of the immortal Alice Hanson, "If you got it, flaunt it.")

We wound up in Paris. I, of course, headed straight for the bathroom (a cute, quaint nod to classic Parisian style with gilded mirrors and painted porcelain sinks). We wandered the Parisian shops for a while and wandered through the casino, but it didn't really seem to offer anything new or unexpected. However, we did like the outdoor cafe, where we sampled an Eiffel Tower. No, we did not lick the reincarnation of the Eiffel Tower that stands outside the casino. We got a giant plastic Eiffel Tower and filled with a Miami Vice (a tasty mix of a Strawberry Daiquiri and a Pina Colada). The bartender (wisely? cleverly? sneakily?) filled the entire base of said confection with RUM . . . so although there was a lot of fruity slush on the top of the tower, it was mostly an Eiffel Tower full of booze. Four of us did share this one drink, but we were a bit schnockered for the next two hours. (I wouldn't say we were drunk. But we were definitely buzzed. We giggled A LOT.)

So, after a morning and early afternoon that largely centered around alcohol, Becky, Amy, and I naturally decided that we needed to explore the wonders of what we affectionately call "The Thunderdome" that evening. That's right folks--we bought tickets to "The Thunder from Down Under."

:D

We all headed back to our time share for dinner and a little relaxation before the evening show (hee hee!), and we dressed up for an evening at the Thunderdome. (I had a new "little black dress" I was really excited to break out. It was a total "girl" moment for me, but it seemed fitting since I was going to watch male dancers "take it off." Time to embrace the girliness.)

I'll admit, I've never been to a strip show before, and I had only the vaguest idea of what to expect. The Thunder did not disappoint--we were highly entertained! Of course the men were ridiculously good-looking. (Seriously--does anyone that good-looking exist in "real" life? I doubt it.) Of course, knowing that I am planning a trip to neighboring New Zealand (in March!), part of me wonders if the whole of the Southern Hemisphere, or at least the Aussie/Kiwi region of the world has some secret "hot" gene that we're missing?

For those of you who are disbelievers, who think that "safe, kindergarten-teacher-appearing Gillian" would never debase herself and actually go to see male dancers take off their clothes (they did keep the family jewels covered!), I do have a picture (which I will not post here) that I will show you IN PERSON if you really must see proof. (Amy, Becky, and I giggled our way through a group shot with the dancers. Yup. Believe it. It was fun!) But I will NOT post this on the internet. :)

All in all, the day of debauchery was quite a lot of fun! Sometimes, it's nice to be naughty!

Best Bathrooms of the Day: The Bellagio (but Paris was a close second!)

Elvi sightings: 2!

Sleepless in Sin City

Las Vegas: Day 1

Some people need alcohol to loosen up and let loose.

I am not one of those people. Cut sleep out of the equation, and my usually quirky demeanor and skewed perspective becomes even loopier than usual.

As usual, I left all my packing until the last minute. Somehow, I forgot to do laundry until later in the day on Thursday, so then I had to wait for a few loads to finish in the dryer before I could pack. Somehow, at 1:30 a.m., I managed to go to bed, only to reawaken to a 3:30 a.m. alarm, and depart my humble abode at the early hour of 5:00 a.m. Once at the airport and easily through security, I sleepily awaited my boarding call.

Fast-forward 7 hours (which was really 10:00 a.m. Vegas time), and I landed in Las Vegas. Chris and Amy picked me up at the airport, and we met up with everyone else at the timeshare. Then we were off!

Being half-asleep, the visual over-stimulation of Las Vegas, even by day, was staggering. There were things to look at everywhere! Just when you think you've seen something big and shiny, something bigger and shinier pops up, and then you come across something large and shiny which also bleeps, dings, or chirps. I took my first steps into a casino (EVER) at no less a casino than Caesar's Palace. And in true Gillian fashion, I promptly found the bathroom. (What do you expect when you drink as much water as I do? I like to be well-hydrated, but it does present complications . . .)

We snaked our way through Caesar's casino, and we wound our way to the forum shops. There we ogled fashion we couldn't dream of affording and admired shiny jewelry both near and far. (We were too scared to go into Harry Winston--though the jewelry sparkled insanely and beckoned us to look closer, the store seemed stuffy and uninviting. However, just like Audrey Hepburn's "Holly Golightly" noted in the film, Tiffany's was quite lovely. The sales staff was very friendly, despite the fact that we all but announced verbally that we weren't going to buy anything as soon as we entered the store.)

The evening led us to the "Fremont Street Experience." To get to Fremont from the Strip, we needed to hop on board a bus known fondly as "The Deuce." (Insert your own "Deuce" jokes here. We did!) This double-decker bus took us past a menagerie of wedding joints to "old Vegas." We saw classic casinos, a Halloween-themed light show, and street performers agogo. Being so close to Halloween, everyone seemed to be a character. We saw Batman, Jason, Jesters, and an assortment of the macabre all along the street. Many were friendly--some downright flirty! (Really--you might be a very handsome/nice/genuinely awesome fellow underneath the costume, but no, we don't want to start a relationship with you while you're wearing so many layers we wouldn't be able to identify you to the police should you disappear. "Really, officer. He a hat shaped like a whimsical "W," wore pointed shoes with bells, and wore what could only be described as a giant, shiny onesie.") That being said, Fremont Street was fun! It was like Christmas came early and exploded across the sky. Except that Christmas was taken over by dancing pumpkins and dark little goblins.

We ended our Fremont Street experience with dinner at The Firefly. If you ever find yourself in Las Vegas, make sure you check this restaurant out! Every dish was tasty. The bacon-wrapped date (stuffed with blue cheese and an almond) just about took us to heaven. The mussels nearly melted in our mouth. Spicy shrimp set your mouth on fire for just the briefest moment. The mushroom tart was layers of flaky, delicate phyllo, smothered in delicious mushrooms and a rich cream sauce. And this is just things off the top of my head. I'm starting to salivate just thinking about those tapas . . . Mmmm!

Good food aside, I just found myself giggling all day long! I don't think it would have really mattered where I went that day. It was more about the company (good friends!). And frankly, when you're running on two hours of sleep and find yourself in the company of such fantastic people, you're bound to have a good time and share lots of giggles.

Best bathrooms of the day: Caesar's palace.

Elvis Sightings: a shocking ZERO!

Llama Vegas?

Yes, folks, that's right. I'm off to Las Vegas.

Ok. You can stop snickering now. I know--the idea of me in Vegas is laughable. Vegas embodies most things that I dislike. Crowds of people I don't know--yuck. (Could there be anything that an introvert dreads more than hoards of unknown people?) Cigarette smoke at a-go-go--yuck. While I don't have any strong anti-gambling feelings, I also don't partake in it. I've never stepped foot in a casino. Ever. (Anyone else who grew up in my hometown knows it was sort of a right of passage to go the casino for your eighteenth birthday, but frankly the appeal was just lost on me. I was just weird that way. But that's part of my charm, right? Hmm. Maybe you shouldn't answer just yet.)

So, why am I going to Vegas?

There's one reason--one fabulous reason. My friend Becky is turning 30 this week! Becky is one of those people that everyone should know. She has a contagious laugh. She is up for just about anything. She is open-minded. She knows how to have fun doing nothing and everything. She's the kind of friend who can go from being goofily sarcastic to serious in the blink of an eye. Amongst my friends, I often consider her the "great equalizer" because when getting various groups of people from different facets of my life together for social gatherings, Becks is the one that everyone universally likes and gets along with, and who can bridge the gaps between groups better than anyone else.

So I am looking forward to Vegas, despite the cigarette smoke, crowds, etc. for the sheer joy of celebrating 30 years of one extraordinary woman. There's a good group of friends gathering, and I really can't think of a better reason to celebrate!

Plus, llama in Las Vegas? This could be fun! Hmm . . .

(Have I mentioned that there is a big rodeo gathering in Vegas this weekend? That's right. The strip will be full of cowboys as far as the eye can see. :D I'm going to hope that this goes in the vein of Lifetime or other made-for-tv movies in the "gal-next-door has big-city fun and adventure in a strange new town" category. Who knows--we could have quite the adventure with the cowboys. Perhaps we'll meet the one cowboy, who, in addition to herding cattle, also herds llamas? What? You scoff? It could happen . . .)